Back At It?

Yes.  It's been awhile. 
As of this morning, I am shooting to be back on the plan 85% of the time.  This comes after a few weeks of being on the plan 0% of the time. 
In addition to admitting right here and now that I'm only going to be 'on' 85% of the time, I'll tell you that even when I'm 'on,' I'm not going to be sweating the fact that there's a little sugar in chipotle peppers, or the Dijon mustard  (and teaspoon of honey) I used to make the dressing for these tasty sweet potatoes today. 
BUT, I need to do better than I've been doing.  Today's been good.  Scrambled eggs on arugula, avocado, and tomatoes for breakfast; and a hamburger patty with the previously mentioned sweet potatoes for lunch.  We're headed out for a birthday dinner, where I plan to have a salad.  I may have bleu cheese crumbles on the salad, and I just might have a beer.  Maybe I'm not so much back on... ;-)

Day 21ish

I have to say 21ish, because I fell off the full compliance wagon last Friday night.  On both nights of the weekend, I enjoyed some red wine.  It was, indeed, just as good as I remembered! 

Despite our lack of perfection, I'm pleased.  Like, REALLY pleased.  I feel good.  I've lost some weight (that wasn't the goal, and yes, I've broken the rules by stepping on the scale-- but I'll take it!).  Running is slowly but surely improving.  The hubs has lost some pounds (he broke the rules too); and we've completed 20+ days of REALLY healthy eating (I'm looking at the big picture here, folks). 

I would've made a bigger effort at complete compliance; but as I mentioned earlier, I am headed to Arizona this weekend for a girls weekend.  I will, admittedly, enjoy being responsibility and food restriction free! 

It's also worth mentioning that I met a friend for lunch on Monday at our favorite Indian buffet.  I skipped the rice and naan, but didn't ask for ingredient lists of the curry type dishes available.  I'm certain there was dairy involved.  I also couldn't pass up the pokoras... undoubtedly coated in something derived from grain.  And, I'm pretty sure it caused me problems.  Nothing unbearable, but I definitely had some abdominal discomfort in the evening.  Could be coincidence.  Who knows?

Anyhoozal... here's a pic from a fun (and compliant, less the wine) dinner with friends on Saturday.  It was oh so good to re-introduce ourselves to the grill!

Mmmmmmeat.

 



HEY-O! I made MAYO!

Day 15

I attempted another run two days ago.  It sucked.  I did personal training yesterday, I felt strong.  But, I'm tired of sucky runs.  Word on the street (or in the Whole 9 forum) is that it will get better... and I need to eat more sweet potatoes.  That seems impossible, but I'll get 'er done.  I did make some sweet potato chips yesterday that were damn tasty.  Hopefully I can get more made soon and start downing them like a crazy woman.

Speaking of a crazy woman, you're currently reading the writing of one.  The search for a family dog took a very unfortunate turn this week.  We were all set, but for a home visit. Lovely young woman (looked to be no more than 22 years old) came to scope out our digs.  She acted as if everything was status quo, then proceeded to give us a failing grade.  Reason:  disorganization.  Yep... my house is not fit for a dog.  We do live a disheveled lifestyle, I cannot deny.  But, we thought we had the place looking pretty presentable.  I could go on and on and on about this.  All that matters though, is I feel like a complete failure.  A failure for having a shitty house and a failure for setting my kids up for such disappointment.  They've had more than their fair share of shit to deal with in recent years.  I thought a dog would be therapeutic; but ultimately the whole situation led to ultimate despair for them.  

And, it's snowing.  And snowing.  And snowing.  It's cold.  It's April.  I am in a complete and total funk.  I know beer and pizza won't help.  But DAMN I want some beer and pizza (and a box of kleenex please).

Good Morning Day 11

I think it's safe to say that fewer posts can be taken as a sign that things are going better.  Our family ended up going out for both breakfast and lunch yesterday.  I was pleased.  My only issue was that we didn't end up eating breakfast until nearly 9am.  That's too damn late for me.  I guess I should've had a banana or something right when I got up.  I hate to start with sugar though, even if it's fruit.  I'm currently hard boiling some eggs.  I don't love them, but they'll be a good go-to option when I need some quick protein.

I am struggling with hunger in the evening. My meal times typically fall at about 7am, 11:30ish, and about 5pm for the evening meal.  While I'm doing a decent job at getting to bed by 10, that stretch between the end of dinner and going to bed is long.  I think I'm supposed to be done eating something like two hours before going to bed, so perhaps I need to start downing one of those hard boiled eggs at 7 or 8.  I feel like the hunger is legitimate; and I nearly always wake up sometime between midnight and two (usually I go to the bathroom and get right back to sleep, but I'm growing weary of the interruption in my zzzzz's).  I can't help but think my hunger might have something to do with why I'm waking so early in the night.  Of course, returning to more consistent exercise would likely help with the sleep.  Of course, it will probably make me more hungry.  MY LIFE IS SO HARD!!!!  :-)

I still really, really miss beer.  We had chili for dinner last night, and I would've loved to have washed it down with a nice Boulevard unfiltered wheat.  Doing without is definitely a good exercise for me. Without going into detail, I will just say that our family has been through what I would call an above average amount of turmoil in recent years (mainly pertaining to the incarceration of a close family member).  Family stress levels have been high.  Additionally, we have two great kids... but let's face it, parenthood ain't stress free.  Throw in the fact that we've both dealt with some anxiety and depression, and it's more than safe to say that we've self-medicated with alcohol more in recent years than one should.  Do I think we're chemically dependent?  No.  Do I think we're entrenched in some bad habits?  Yes. 

All that being said, now is the time I will confess that I will not be doing a whole30.  On day 21 I'm flying to Phoenix to meet up with my childhood bestie Kelly and her sister.  I haven't seen Kelly since I got married 14+ years ago.  That to me is adequate reason to break this 'fast.'  I may re-start upon my return home and go for 30 straight, but I may not.  Chris is determined to go straight through, so I may just be done when he is.  I can tell you now, though, that no matter when I'm 'done,' I will never be DONE.  I will not be strictly paleo, but I do intend to maintain, for the most part, this way of eating.

Too Crazy for Color TV

Outta control Sat nite here. Chris working, kids playing wii, me making ghee.# of minutes til I can have a beer?#TooMany #whole30

— anneholt (@anneholt) April 13, 2013

Good Morning Day 9

Yesterday, in a word, sucked.  I woke up to dumping snow, I forgot to put a filter in the coffee pot, which resulted in a waterfall of java all over the counter, and I was still in a pretty foul mood from Wednesday evening's craptastic chicken dinner.  That was just the morning. 

Other highlights from the day:

meeting foster dogs (yes, we are getting a dog; the fence has been installed...now we search for a pooch)... one of which we really, really loved; but she shed a LOT in our short time together, setting off Elise's allergies with a vengeance.  The right dog will come, but the experience kind of sucked.

 
Getting nailed with an outrageously high bill from the IRS (start your own company...it'll be fun...NOT!!)
 
Our recycling bin, filled to overflowing, did not get emptied yesterday. Getting it down to the curb was a complete bee-atch of a task through the heavy wet snow that covered our driveway.  I got it down, and cleared a path between the street and the can.  Unbeknownst to me, city plows came through afterward and left a trail of nastiness, so our friendly recycling man decided not to empty it, I guess.  It would not be a big deal, but they only come every two weeks.  Did I mention it's overflowing???
 
A realization that it's coming time to make some difficult decisions concerning the hubs's business... not that the sky is falling, but it's possible we're coming to a crossroad, and we are crap, crap, crappity, crappy decision makers
 
After all this fun, we ended up at Good Day Cafe for dinner.  It's the home of one of my pre-whole30 faves...huevos rancheros, complete with forbidden beans, tortillas, and cheese.  We picked the place due to location, and I thought the menu would be fairly easy to navigate.  It wasn't impossible, but the problem was I probably should've eaten an hour earlier.  I was starving, Elise was being super crabby and difficult, and I just wanted my huevos rancheros and a beer, for cryin' out loud.   I ultimately ordered a fried egg sandwich, and didn't eat the bread.  It normally comes with potatoes (delicious potatoes, I might add), but the waiter said we could do roasted veggies.  Score.  I was already feeling very high maintenance, which I HATE, so I refused to go into the whole 'what oil is everything cooked in' routine.  So, there could've been some butter or canola oil involved.  I don't give a shit.  I still ate way healthier than I previously would've. 

 

Am I the queen of first world problems or what?????

 

To have gotten through the day and evening without falling off the wagon was ultimately pretty empowering, but the obstacles seemed pretty insurmountable there for awhile.  Chris and I both admitted (maybe that's not the right word), that part of the appeal of taking this on was that we both kind of enjoy a challenge (proof:  we have kids, we've run marathons, we're getting a dog).  We both had 'is this particular challenge worth it' moments yesterday. 

 

One of the upsides of all of this is that we've rediscovered tea.  After I got over my initial pissed offed-ness that so many brands have stevia or barley malt in them and found some compliant options, it's become a great evening wind-down.  The kids wanted to join in, so we've been having family tea time every evening at 8, and it's become one of my favorite parts of the day.  While we do frequently enjoy dinner together as a family, it does often become a harried event and less quality time than I'd like.  Tea time provides another opportunity for us to sit around the table and check in with one another.  I don't care who ya are... that's a good thing. 

 

I'll quit now while I'm on a positive note.  Below is a picture of this morning's breakfast.  Looks familiar, no??

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